finally im back...

urgh...

i'm feeling tired...
get hurt enough...pls...
let me go...
i miss you...you got that??
i know u won't view this blog...
because u're busy...
and i never give my link also..
but i just think to say...
i think to cry...
when i feel i can't get to see you anymore..
so that...urgh...feeling upset...
i'm damn missing you...Along...
no matter u no handsome than others...
u make me feeling specials...
whatever my mum say...we no suit...
but...i think to say...
except you ...i don't want other...
may be u not love me alike in my mind..
never mind...
i will try my hard...to let you love me more...
and...i didn't care what the character i have in front ur friends...
i just care the character i have in ur heart..
the day i leave u look upset...
i keep smiling...not mean i didn't care...
just don't make you feel sad...
actually..i'm crying in the bus...
hahaha...i'm not a kid anymore...
i know what i doing now...
believe me...i will come back and found you..
i just pray...u still love me on that time...


there have many else happen before i'm leave...
and u ...keep support me...
i feel happy...thank you so much...




mamamia~~~
what the plan i have to taken now??
confuse...working??
get some skill??
i think to have a license...
i will try my best...:)
before i'm leave my frineds send me a gift...

 it's a necklace...:)

very nice...and it look very expensive...

i love this so much..thank you...:)

and this is ''Haagen-Das'' ice cream...

$12.50...but no need i pay also..XD

it's nice...i like this flavour...

oreo indulgent...:)

thanks a lot yup...

feeling happy in that day...

i begin feel that i'm a bad guy...

because...there have someone love me...

before i leave...he tell me that he love me...

but...sorry...actually...i won;t fall in love to a china boy...

i love to talk to you...because...

u make me feel happy...

but that not means i will love you too...

i just ''like'' you...

and ''LIKE'' not means the ''LOVE''..

they have a big different u know...

but thanks for ur gift...

and...finally...i dun have tell him the truth that i won't love him...

i scared he will upset...

so...i just say...let u chase...

not meaning u got me...

he call me contact him...

but i think lost contact vf him...

if that...he will feeling better right??

urgh...faint...i'm not beauty...

not lady...so rude...

why those ppl will love me??

can we just be a friends..??

i'm begging you...=3=...

if u think i accept ur gift thats means i accept u too...

u're wrong...if that i will get back the necklace to you...

i never think to hurt anyone...

i just don't know how to disscuss those case like now..

fxxk off....

i'm enough in a trouble for myself...

pls...don't make any else to me again...

p/s:i love the feeling that after i'm back home...

warmmy~~~!!!

suddenly....thinkt o write my blog again...

but ...dunno what i think to say here...

hmmmm....

so that....let's show the life i have in Singapore..

alright...

there have many people i liked to be more thin than before...

and asking me izit on diet...

hahaha..it's funny...actually i'm not...

it's hard to explain and lazy to talk about it...

missing the day that i meet up vf my ipoh friends....:(

they are my only frineds in my life...

ya...everybody say...

after we walking into the cruel society...

and we have our own life from each others...

but...urghh...i scared alone...

i scared i having my lunch...breakfast...dinner as alone...

i'm a talkactive girl....

whatever i say...yea...yea ...i'm alright...u just go ur way...

actually i think you will stay vf me...

thats real Js....

suddenly i gonna found that...

i have many people like to talk vf me...

but...thats not ''friends''....

just....ermmm.....strangers that have a nice talk vf them...

can't tell any secret...can't tell any painful...can't tell any private ...

i miss home...i miss my bed...

i alwayz tell myself...dun be upset babe...

is soon to be home...:)...

and now...it's time to review the photo during the CNY..:)

it's steamboat day...

Yik lee(funny guys),

Bao Cai(my dearest friends),

Kar Yen(talent in the Math)

what the...=3=III...

whats the pose izit.....so charm guys...

hahahaha...

kim kim(my mummy),vf Bao cai...

Yik lee(ah Har...),and Bao bao

look alike?!

actually they just a friends....

foo jing Huii(Ridy's BF),Bao cai

Fong yee(another talent in Math),

Bao cai...

fong yee also is a funny guys...

and...!!she is talkactive than me..:)

Bao cai ,Kar yen

Ridy lew(a beauty..),Bao cai...

she is a nice girl...

and she alwayz give some opinion to me...

thx girl...:)...

ridy lew..candy ow..Js choong..yuen ling..
and the sor lou ah foo..XD

a couple pic...wow...

100% match...haha...:)

lol...gelak ape ni??

beritau la...=3=

很难得这两个怪人肯拍照...

感动的说...XP

let's started...

tahts our dinner...

it's very happy to having dinner with u all...

做个男人也那么爱抢镜头...

beh tahan...@.@

she is fall in sick...

so poor...can't eat the nice food ...

just only can have a drink and help us to roasted the beef...

and having her fruit..

oh no....this pic no clearly...

she is very very beauty guys...

so jealous her skin...white and moist...

T^T..

Candy ow...

she is a ''laughing girl''

alwayz keep smile...=3=...

lol..smile what?

just capture only...is that so funy hurrr??

kim keya...another pretty girl...

but she is my mummy...

hahahaha...

alwayz help me do anything...

teach me many things...

thq....and i love you..!!

ling ling!!!...

she is change...

no any comment to her...

just wish she lucky..:)

jing jing...:)

my dear bro....

haha...still cute...nothing is change...

i love him too...

he is sense of humor...

another for drinking the beer...

SKY LOUNGE-IPOH,near the Mc Donald 24 hours...

it's nice...and beautiful...

it's Amy and her BF...

hapiness...haiz...

when i can be like this vf my boy too...:(

Amy and me....

we are know during the primary school...

untill now...we still is friends...

haha...old friends...:)

let's act cute.....chesseeee...

smile....:)

i think i'm more cute la...

see my tounge...XD

Amy''peace'' VS Js ''smile''

which more nice ??XD...

ofcause is me what...thq!!!

Kar Chun and me...

i'm already have little bit drunk while we take this pic...

feeling faint...@.@

it's a funny picture...

izit ??

haha...i love this picture...very much...:)

those picture are record the day thats i feel happy...

hahhaahah...miss it!!!

think going to drink again...

i have many trouble aroud my head....

very very tired...

can't sleep...

can't stop thinking about it....

whos can come and give me a hand....

pls......

teach me what i can do....

if i keep studying...

izit my BF will leave me...

thinking about this question...

i'm crying....

i love him??

*i dunno....i just know i like him....

u will miss him when u in school...

*yes ...i will...because...i lost him in my life...

My mind.."

Last day is my off day..

It's my first have a nice talk vf my friends..

Mwahaha...

And first time tht have someone come to hear me..

What I want..

After I'm reach here...

I never happy...

Except when I'm vf my boyfriends..

Because he is a funny guys...

He always make me laugh..

Make me feel happy...

He alwayz busy for his job..

Almost never spend his free time to accompany me

His free time..he just use it as his working time too..

Actually I'm proud vf him..

Because he is awesome..

And...I first time gotta see a guys that most hardworking..

For their own job...

That's no wonder why his boss will appreciate to him..

If I am his boss...I think I will be like him too..

First time...got to see the nice scape from the singapore city hall,esplanade..

That's very very nice...

Heard the sound from the sea wave...

Hold a drink in my hand..

Talking about my feeling...my future...

I think to keep studying...

I think to earn much of money..

My mummy always call me go look at the Japanese restaurant and be a waitress..

Actually...I dun want...mum...I have my dream..

U alwayz say 有书给你读你不读现在出来了社会又说读书..

Ya...but...I'm 19..it's my last chance to get study..

If I miss it...I'm just such like a worthless people..

Can u trust me one more time..

Even I can't get the nursing course I still can apply the others rite?

pls....god....

Pls...mum and daddy...

Can u all gv me a chance...?!

i lost myself``迷茫``

我迷失了自己

我在我未来的路上迷失了

面前有很多很多的道路

不懂该往哪个方向走

我真的有很大很大的压力

我其实很想念书

很想去实践自己的梦想去当个护士

可惜  社会的是残忍的

我不懂得如何上网去申请学校

没有人告诉我要怎样才能申请

我自己也上网看过无数次

终究  没消息  也许注定我不是做护士的料

我也很矛盾  爸爸妈妈  也不年轻了

我不想他们那么辛苦

所以  我打算在新加坡申请学校

这是最后一次机会

再不行  就继续工作

也许会回马来西亚了

留在这里只是因为我不舍得他而已

然而  他也会那样想吗

我告诉自己  你和他根本不可能

他甚至直到现在也还没离婚

面子书里  他和他老婆的关系  照片

依旧还在  那不就默默的承认了

他不想和她离婚吗  这样的我们还有什么未来可言

即使你问他是否爱你  他可以说爱 

但在他心底深处  却是个不一样的答案

那样  我又何必呢

我很痛苦  每天在这些问题给绑死

我挣扎显得越痛

妈妈mia

导游?是个好选择吗?

还是坚持自己的梦想?

还是当个书记?转下自己的形象

也可以成熟点

很烦很烦  日子快到了

再不作出选择  我就惨了  

我真的压力得很想哭

却只能用力的抱着自己的膝盖哭泣

除了哭  我到底还会什么

几岁了  还不能坚强起来吗

梦想``不能当饭吃

有多少人不是为了生活而放弃了梦想

兴趣?别想了  唱歌?

发明星梦?别傻了...

今年的情人  葱花也没有一粒  ==

其实我也不奢望有礼物

因为他和我的经济也不是很好

这个月他的伤才适合上班

但是  他却一句情人节快乐就带过了

和我的生日一样

但至少那一天有他陪在我身边

所以我不遗憾

昨天15号是他的生日

本来打算 我20号休息 

就去他工作的地方给他个惊喜 

打算给他染几颗''红鸡蛋''

然后再买个小蛋糕的

过后聊天才知道  他不喜欢吃蛋糕

我问他:''那么红鸡蛋呢''

他说:算了吧...生日都快过完了..吃什么红鸡蛋

我顿时很失望

然而他也说 每年的生日都是一个人

但  其实不是吧  你之前有你老婆陪你啊

上一次去他工作的地方找他

他的同事都知道  他有老婆  但不知道他们的关系

所以在那些同事面前介绍我是他的表妹

我却感到无所谓

只要看到他  我就可以笑得出来

他的同事都和我年龄只相差2/3年

想和我拿号码  问他要  他说:你自己去和她拿

他还给我打了个眼色说不要给

我心里突然很开心

他不懂  他的一句话有多大的影响力

我为什么会对他放那么多的感情

明明不可能  却  越陷越深  

到底为什么

p/s:感情就是如此的无法控制

以前的伤  挥不去

现在的爱  无法离弃 

是我太过花心  还是我太容易被人吸引

\我真的越来越觉得很辛苦...
不懂为什么这样觉得...
那种无形的压力...
最近又发生了某些事情...
很不像说...只想把这件事藏在心里...
很想大声的呼喊...
把心里的难过...辛苦..压力...无助的感觉全部给发泄出来...
很多时候都想找个人来倾诉...
却往往找不到合适的人选...
到最后...全部放在心上...
有些事情...不说...不代表感觉不出来...
我只是试着不去介意...不去在意...
我真的累了....


说真的.....现在这个男朋友......
我很喜欢...只是我们是两个世界的人.....
注定不可以在一起的....
小文说的对....我不应该再去伤害人了...
应该停止....现在所有的动作...
其实...我也不想有那么一天...他和她复合了...
到最后成了第三者的却是我....
狐狸精是我....我不是故意去拆散别人...
或者是去伤害别人....我只是想从新站起来去寻找属于我的幸福...
但结果,上天想告诉我....我没有资格去拥有幸福...
有时候真的有那么的一刻...很想就从这里(6楼)...
跳下去...也许死不了也成了植物人...什么也不用烦了...
可是我还有爸爸妈妈要养...我不能再让他们对我失望了...
不能了....不能了....


打算从新找一份也不是容易的事 ....
衣食住行....真的真的很重要...
想得我快头爆 ....
爸爸说如果真的不行就回来吧 ...
这是我最好最好的安慰...爸爸...我爱你...:)
我想找一份好的工作...让爸爸妈妈也为我而骄傲...
我不相信...只有会读书的人才能...让爸妈过得奢华...
刚好我爸妈并不贪图富贵...他们只希望我能脚踏实地向未来走去...


我对你的感觉....你不了解...外人不了解...
别人总是说...怎么你男友都不打给你总是你给他拨电...
甩了他吧 ....即使我心疼着我也对那个人摇摇头说...不可以...
想起我们刚刚认识的那些日子...
不知不觉的已经在一起三个月了...
你经常说你忙....经常说没时间来陪我...
我可以体谅....但是...信息也越来越冷了....
我发誓我已经很努力了...
努力的在你心里争取我的位置...可是...
你却觉得无所谓....谢谢你为我做的一切...
而我打算帮你过生日...我想办法给你惊喜了...
这一次以后....我会跟你说分手了....
很不舍得....其实搞得我不上不下的人就是你...
老是出现在我脑袋里....让我的脑袋都装不下别的东西...
如果这一次分了.....
我不会再想去恋爱了....努力赚钱才来想这回事 ....
谢谢你.....我喜欢你...




*世界没有免费的午餐....